The Dating Game - Talker News

13/10/2004 The Broadband Baby Boom Tight-knit communities tend to give rise to some interesting, and completely inexplicable social phenomena. There are many documented cases of groups simply rising en masse and carrying out collective acts, without any purposeful organisation or forethought. Perhaps it's a similar event to mass hysteria, but without the hysterics.

Any examination, or theory as to the cause of such happenings are well beyond the scope of a mere .news article, and far beyond the realm of the .news author's limited mental faculties; But we do have an example of such a bizarre episode arising on The Dating Game, and it's a strange one, alright!

It's perhaps unlikely that even a single TDG user would enter the domain of parenthood, but as a group? Certainly something that can't be explained with conventional logic. Yet, here we are!

Congratulations go out to Bear, whose son was born on 10th August 2004, and to Babygirl and Estlin, who are both expecting their first children in 2005. Estlin, obviously, is not pregnant himself - if he were, we really would have an anomaly to discuss in this article. Rather, his wife, Mumu, is joyfully enceinte.

07/09/2004 The .say Command? Their idea! There's no doubt about it, "OLDTIMER" was a misnomer. After all, with such youthful people as Ceisure, and Flea at that rank, the mental picture one summons of a retirement home, filled with TDG users on their zimmers, just didn't seem to fit with reality.

So, the idea was rethought. The large print bingo hall of Dating Game ranks was replaced with something new, dynamic, and overflowing with a vibrant, creative mien. Oh, and if you hadn't noticed, at the same time we hired one of those overpriced corporate flacks to write some meaningless rhetoric to describe the frivolous stylistic rebranding.

Those of you just skimming this article to find the meat of it should focus on this paragraph. The "OLDTIMER" rank has been dropped, and has been replaced by the brand new "CONSULTANT" designation! Why was "CONSULTANT" picked? Because this fine group of people, being composed of former staff, and long standing members of the TDG community who've had a great influence since the first day, are responsible for suggesting and aiding with the development of the ideas behind many of the wonderful features that we all take for granted, today!

What's that? You want an example of a feature originating from the CONSULTANTs? Very well.. uh... the talker used to boot people off, once they'd been connected for eleven seconds. They had the notion of discontinuing this policy, a policy that's still enforced even today, at many lesser talkers.

So, this is, indeed, welcome news, and in conclusion, there's just one thing to say... the paragraph preceeding this one was a complete lie!

27/08/2004 And They Called it Aussie Love It seems to be a routine occurance for TDG staff members, and former staff members, to get married. Indeed, just look at such dignitaries as Rlic, SuprSlicr, and that jerk who used to log in but then disappeared for several years without so much as a word.

But while the situation itself is not a rarity, each occasion is both a unique, and joyous one, and something that we'll never feel we've seen too much of.

Therefore, please congratulate our resident Australian staff member, Lollipop, and her now husband, Ribbon, who embarked upon their new lives together when they tied the knot on February 28, 2004. The staff and users couldn't be happier, and we all wish you a lifetime of marital bliss.

27/08/2004 GIANT HEADLESS LOLLIPOP TERRORIZES CITY, SCANDAL! If you hadn't already figured it out, The Dating Game's .news service is the contemporary digital equivalent of a cheap supermarket tabloid. Yes, it's safe to say that over 95% of what you read here is pure crap, made up on the spot.

Occasionally though, we're compelled by our sense of journalistic integrity (or at least by intense legal pressure) to issue a retraction. We recently received one such request from Lollipop's attorneys, and therefore with nothing but sincerity would like to issue the following statement:

Lollipop has not been demoted. Lollipop was never demoted. She remains as a MANAGER and all rumours of demotion stemmed from a now fired reporter who was in a drunken stupor, at the time.

(If there's need to issue a further retraction it will simply be to say that Lollipop was demoted, albeit temporarily, as she has pledged to make the time to continue with her MANAGER duties. Hurrah!)

27/08/2004 Off The Record, They Were Stealing Office Supplies Any community can be viewed as an organic being. It grows, shifts and changes as time progresses. It's more than the sum of its parts, because it's the ever metamorphosing entity that the interactions between each of those parts creates. New people come, and old friends depart, and sometimes, those familiar to us find they have other commitments, and perhaps are unable to devote the time and energy that they once did.

You can see where this is going, can't you? Well YOU try to make yet another news update about staff changes seem interesting, and tell us how you get on.

So we bid a tearful "farewell" from the ranks of the staff to our departing friends, Anne, Kelly and Lollipop, whose real lives (horrible little things, real lives, you know?) are consuming more of their leisure time. We also bid a happy "hello" to the same individuals as they join the ranks of the OLDTIMERs and will, undoubtedly, drop by to grace us with their company, even if their presence isn't as consistent as before.

21/04/2004 Just What The Hell Is a "Petawawa", Anyway? While the big wedding is still on for September, our resident PRODUCERs recently came to a conclusion. The conclusion was that following Syzygy's safe return to his home in Petawawa, ON, they did not want to wait any longer to be able to call themselves "husband and wife".

So, therefore, it is with great joy that we congratulate Syzygy and SuprSlicr, who surprised everyone by officially/unofficially (after all, there's still a big official wedding to come!) tying the knot in a small, private ceremony in Ottawa, on February 28th, 2004.

To both of you: Wonderful news, indeed, and we wish you a lifetime of happiness, good memories, and timely website updates. See you in September!

21/04/2004 Staff Rotated Every 6 Months for Freshness It's all part of the greater routine. Seasons change, spring blooms and the staff appointments at TDG go through another little shake-up.

You know the drill, by now. You know that it's time to wave a tearfull farewell to a retiring comrade, and perhaps to congratulate the lucky replacement, who has been picked for their grace, knowledge and generally aidant demeanour. So the only questions left unanswered are: "Who are the invididuals in question?" and "What does this mean for me, the average user?".

Well, in brief, Cougar is stepping down from his long time MANAGER position as other commitments upon his time mean that he can no longer put in the energy required. Former MANAGER Agazyr, meanwhile, is coming out of retirement and heading into a second term of office; Not only helping to fill the gap, but also ensuring that the Dutch constitute a 20% proportion of the active staff.

And as for what this means? Well, not only does it give you another point of contact for any issues that you may have, but it also means we'll be seeing many more of Agazyr's sickening proclivities exposed through dropped .tells, not just in public rooms, but potentially now through systemwide broadcast messages as well!

05/12/2003 Network Nomenclature (Or "Why use 15 keystrokes when you can use 24?") When most people are asked what they consider the major component missing from TDG is... ...well, they say "funding", "quality coding" or in some cases "porn". But after interviewing Rlic, Penster and then Troll, we happened upon some (comparatively) normal users... And they said; okay, they said pretty much the same things. But one guy did mention "A domain name!" which, thankfully, was the answer we were hoping for - proving that there really was a demand.

Alright, so we paid him.

Anyhow, The Dating Game can now be reached via the following address:

And by telnet at: Port: 5959

We request that you update your bookmarks and links immediately, as if we ever change servers (which we aren't planning, but who knows what the future may hold?) this address shall continue to work. It also opens up alternate options for any juncture at which is inaccessible.

05/12/2003 The pitter patter of little fingers on keys... Geekish as all who dwell within the depths of The Dating Game are, some of them do, from time to time, fall in love. Outlandish as this phenomenon seems to be, it has become a frequent enough occurance that it was really only a matter of time before at least one couple attempted to dabble in the arcane art of procreation.

But what was the probability of it being a success?!

Yes, our very own Grrr and Kirsty have had a baby! Born at 1:25pm on 22nd October 2003, "Little Big Mac" as he shall henceforth be known was brought into this world, to become the youngest member of our extended TDG family. CONGRATULATIONS, Grrr and Kirsty, and we hope to see Little Big Mac in seventeen years or so on what then will be Virtual Reality TDG 2020. (Well, if the robots haven't taken over in a bloody coup d'etat by then).

17/08/2003   But will he change his last name to "Slicr"? Syzygy has gone on record many times as being a staunch adversary to the entire on-line relationship notion for a long time, and has made attempts to discourage what he saw as foolish forays into that domain on numerous occasions. It is, therefore, both fitting and ironic that the mise en scene within which his own love life has played out is nowhere other than The Dating Game. We will, quite naturally, be making him eat his words for a long time to come.

The object of his affection is SuprSlicr, which was relatively predictable, based solely on the fact that we're unable to have a news item that doesn't mention her name in one context or another.

Before we reach the point at which the news is announced, the time has come to depart from the usual style and be 100% serious. I'm sure all of you who know them will agree with this sentiment: Syzygy and SuprSlicr are two of the most friendly, giving, and genuine people that you could ever hope to meet, be the form of that meeting on-line or in the tangible world. It sparks new faith in the concept of kismet that they should find each other, because truly they deserve all the warmth, compassion and happiness that they bring to one another. I'm sure you'll all join us in wishing Syzygy and Suprslicr the best future possible and our congratulations as they annnounce their engagement for 2004.

17/08/2003   The first step to curing addiction is admitting that you have a problem I'm sure we've all been having the withdrawl symptoms, as TDG went off- line for approximately 24 hours. The truth of the matter is that Rlic spilled Gatorade into the machinery, causing a series of loud pops, and TDG being removed from the 'net. Well, that and had a little hiccup. We'll keep you posted as technical details become available, but the good news is that we're back. Of course, if you're reading this, you know that already, making this whole news story somewhat redundant. No allegations that this story was quickly put together to pad out the .news will be heard! The nerve to even ask.

15/08/2003   It's simple really - our system clock was stuck on April 1st Okay. The thing about SuprSlicr becoming the TDG coder was a joke. A JOKE. But... she does have a new position here at The Dating Game. She joins Syzygy at the exhalted rank of PRODUCER. We're serious, this time. YES! REALLY!

Not only will this mean she's available to manage the webpage during Syzygy's upcoming absence, but it means there's an additional point of contact for any user or staff issues. SuprSlicr was a natural choice, being an omnipresent force in TDG land, and most friendly and helpful, to boot!

Yes, this does mean that JamesRC is still the coder. Still, you can't win 'em all, right?

26/05/2003   Little known fact: The Canadian wedding ceremony includes a human sacrifice It's astounding, the things that those desperate for fame will do. Let's take the case of a former TDG staff member. The individual in question has been on a crusade for around two years. Her objective? To make her way back into the .news. The campaign has been a fierce one... emails, phone calls, death threats... but it has been fruitless. Then this person came to a realisation! To appear in the .news, you have to do something newsworthy. So she racked her brain, and finally came up with an (almost) fool-proof scheme. Get married! That seems both important enough to make the cut, and yet innocuous enough that no-one would suspect that its true nature is simply that of a ploy for this attention... but this eagle-eyed reporter has caught onto the game. Sorry, but we will not validate your actions by revealing your name.

Oh, very well. Congratulations to Ceisure, who announces her engagement to her non-TDG boyfriend, Jonathan! And speaking of which, if he's the one to have stolen Ceisure's heart, shouldn't he be paraded in front of the TDG populace for their approval?

06/02/2003   If you must know, we found him under a bridge. This news announcement is not late. It was simply pre-empted for college sports in your local viewing area. (You're not buying it, are you?) Excuses aside, we're proud to announce our two newest staff members!

SuprSlicr is the first, who despite having been part of our little community for less than a year now has a total login time greater than most other regulars. Her secret, of course, is abusing her real job for the purpose of chatting. As you're no doubt aware, she's personable and ever helpful. She'll be with us for a long time, too - after all, where would she go? She lost her license!

The second new staff member is Troll. What can be said about Troll? No, really. We're stumped. Tell us if you know. Of course, he wouldn't be appointed to this position if he wasn't knowledgeable, helpful and perpetually present. Congratulations, both!

24/7/2001   The Dating Game continues the Trivia Tradition!! Trivia will be back folks, and everyone can start fresh again! Check the Trivia Night Page for more info!

30/4/2001   The Dating Game celebrates its fourth birthday!! Congratulations and thanks to all the users that helped make this place such a special home to be.. and onwards to the next four!

30/3/2001   The Dating Game has a completely new page design! Eyot has, aided by Rlic, Penster, Ceisure and a few other people's suggestions, developed a new look&feel for this page. We hope you like it!

10/3/2001   The Dating Game welcomes more new staff members! Penster and Rlic carefully picked a few new staff members, and are happy to announce that Agazyr will be taking over Satin's post, who decided to step down, and Lollipop and Cougar were added to increase the number of wizzes for their time zone. With them aboard, the staff now consists of members from practically every time zone, so users can consider themselves in good hands!

1/3/2001   The Dating Game's newest tradition: Trivia Night! Penster decided to start organising a weekly Trivia Night in the talker, where users that wish to play get quizzed on their trivia knowledge about a new subject every week. The first game has shown promising and exciting, and hopefully this is the start of a new tradition!

16/2/2001   The Dating Game has two new staff members! Everybody at The Dating Game welcomes Anne, who will supplement the already very able and friendly staff with her enthusiasm and warm personality, and Eyot, who follows Smurf in her footsteps as the new webmaster. Smurf sadly resigned as staff member, but don't worry, she'll still be around to brighten the place up!